They think they're clever

And maybe that's what I deserve. I mean, I did write a pretty lame ad. I know that. But I'm completely NOT attracted to the men who respond with things like

Did you know that in fortune cookies, the appended phrase "in bed" is implicitly understood?

Yes, I knew that. Well, yes, I know that you can add that if you want to participate in childish humor. I mean, yes, I know that my siblings and I did that when we were kids and going out to eat at the local Vietnamese restaurant. It was a little bit funny when I was 12 (but not nearly as funny as when my brother made up his fortune: "Beware of large swooping birds." Maybe you had to be there?)

I admit I wasn't being a good rule-follower when I responded. I simply said that I had, in fact, heard that before. And he was well-chastised, recognizing that maybe his response wasn't really all that funny. And that he doesn't believe in fortune cookies. Well no kidding - who does? Did he really think that I did? Sigh.

I laughed at the man who was clever enough to channel Confucius:

I spoke with confuscious about your duplicate fortunes.

He said that one applies to 2009, the current year, and the other applies to the current Chinese new year which started started Jan 26 and runs until Feb 14 2010. So, you don't get double the luck from duplicate fortunes, but you do get an extra month and a half : )

Unfortunately, I told him he made me laugh, and he took that as permission to ply me with Confucius jokes.

And then to tell me what he was really looking for.

Confucius rocks! He once said "Man who stands on toilet is high on pot"

I guess I replied to you because I'm standing on a toilet, listening to music, and you had a good title and posting. Also, you did not say anywhere what you specifically wanted, because if you had, it probably would have ruled me out and saved you some time...

I mean, I'm nice and all, possibly a friend, but I'm not the type for LTR. I'm the not the type for casual hookup either. I'm kinda useless to women as anything but a friend. I'd probably be flirty though. I like women, and am looking for something I guess. Not sure what, but something to keep me distracted from a long distance relationship without stepping over the line.

But that's just a start. Unemployed. No car. Smoker. You can tell I must do really well on CL, lol.

I took the time to clarify. Because it sounded to me like this guy was looking for someone to cheat on his long-distance girlfriend with. He didn't exactly see it that way.

To clarify, my comfort zone with a female friend is kinda hippie I guess, nudity is cool, massage is cool, flirting is fun, talking about sex and fantasies is nice. Kissing is where I would draw the line. When it's good, things won't stop there.

Yeah. That's cheating.