Tread carefully

Just tread carefully.  That's all I'm saying.

Two replies into an email correspondence with one guy had him asking what kind of date with me would be totally unique.  I admit that I danced around the question a bit.  I can be creative sometimes, but mostly in a totally controlled environment. 

If someone I know well had asked me that question, I could have offered a wide variety of options. Every one of them, though, makes me very uncomfortable to think of doing with one of these CL men.  For example, the last unique "date" I went on (with my ex-boyfriend shortly after he'd become an ex -- is that still a date?) involved a drive (1 hour and 20 minutes), a hike (1.5 miles), and a soak in a natural hot spring (clothing optional).

Fun date.  We had a great time. 

Even though it was freezing cold.  Literally.  The ground was frozen solid, and the earlier rain had turned turned to slush when it hit the trails.

Even though I slipped and fell face-first on the way back down.  Even though I was then covered chest-to-toe in very cold mud for the final half of the hike AND all the way back to his place. 

We had a great time.  And it was unique.


Even with all of that, I would never suggest such a thing to someone I've just met.  I'm just a little too afraid that they might say, "Hey - that sounds like fun!  Let's try it."

I don't want to try it with them.  The drive alone would terrify me.  An hour and a half (give or take) in a car with a stranger, heading further and further out of civilization?  No thanks!  Then the hike?  Even with other people on the trail, it's still the big-bad-woods.  Hiking is cool.  I enjoy it.  I like being out in the middle of the forest.  But not with someone I don't know.  And a hot springs soak?  At a clothing optional place?  Even if I'm donning a bathing suit, I don't want to be around a bunch of nudies with a man I've just met.  Too many ideas could be floating around his noggin.  Way too may ideas for my comfort.

Safety first.  Safety first says DO NOT ANSWER A QUESTION LIKE THAT IF YOU THINK HE MIGHT SUGGEST DOING WHATEVER YOU'VE MENTIONED IN YOUR RESPONSE.

So I totally and completely danced around the question.  Instead, I said something along the lines of trying something new, doing something that might make you look like a fool but it's okay because everyone involved knows it's the first time you've done it.

Dumb.  I know.  I get it.  But I was thinking about my safety.

I do, however, know how to play the game.  So I said, "what about you?"

And, well, here's where I think these men ought to tread lightly:

So an unique date huh? What would be something unique for you and I then? Are you a massage person? Would that stretch you? Or would that be a boundary issue... Just throwing ideas out.

Yes!  Yes!  Yes!  That is MOST DEFINITELY a boundary issue.  We have never met.  Never.  Ever.  We don't know each other.  Yes, it would stretch me to consider having a date with you in which we are massaging each other. 

Sigh.