Ad Number One

I did it. I posted an ad on Craigslist. I followed rule #1, and I put myself out there. (Actually, to be fair, I did it a little more than a week ago - I had to wait until the ad expired before I could post it here because I'd hate for someone to take a piece of the ad, google it, and discover what I'm really doing. You know? Yeah, I get that thinking someone might do that makes me paranoid. But the thing is, I would do that. So I'm sure there's someone else out there who would. Right?) And boy-oh-boy have I learned what not to do in the future. I can, and probably will, write several posts about what not to say in a personals ad. And I've learned that my ad isn't really like anyone else's. Sigh.

I'm never like anyone else.

So, without further ado, the text of my first-ever Craigslist personals ad:

Okay - I'm a little picky, but so are you, right?

I’m not afraid to think things like an adult spelling bee or trivia night are cool; you aren’t either.

I try to get to the gym at least three days a week, but I’m still a work in progress. I don’t expect I’ll ever be perfect, and I’m okay with that.

When I tire of the gym, I’ll head out for a hike. I’m not a hardcore outdoorswoman, though, so a few miles are generally enough for me. I’ve been thinking of buying a bike to spice up the non-gym activities, but a few things hold me back – maybe you can help?
1) While I’ll walk alone, I’m not so keen on biking alone … just doesn’t seem all that fun without a friend.
2) It’s been awhile since I’ve been on a bike, and I’m a teensy bit scared. It wasn’t just funny when my 6 year old niece told me, “When I think of the word ‘clumsy,’ I see a picture of you in my mind”; it was also a solid commentary on my not-always-graceful nature.
3) I really don’t know anything about bikes or buying one, and while I could shop around and ask questions, it’s possible you know all the right ones to ask.

I’m a native of this fair city, but I know I’ve experienced only a fraction of its gems. You want to explore the remainder with me.

I’m interested in other peoples’ lives, and I appreciate when they’re interested in hearing about mine. I met someone for a mutual lesson the other day, spent two and a half hours together, and never once was I asked a question. I want to hear you talk, and you want the same from me. Besides the simple fact that I can be pretty interesting, a reciprocal conversation is far more enjoyable than thinking the other person invited you along just so it didn’t appear they were talking to themselves.

I’ve been on vacation for a week, didn’t leave town (I’m planning to leave when I have another week in July), and my house still isn’t clean. I’m just not a neat freak, and as long as you’re not a packrat, we should be able to make it work.

I’ll want to hang out with you, but I also like time alone. You’ll hear a sigh of relief when you tell me you’d rather go out with friends than spending every waking moment together.

I’m something of a cynic and can be judgmental at times. I’m working on both.

I don’t smoke or do drugs; neither do you. One beer, glass of wine, or cocktail can get me tipsy; two can just about do me in. I’m not a huge fan of animals of any type, and I’m fairly certain I’m developing an allergy to cats; I won’t shun you because you have them, but I probably won’t touch them, find them cute or cuddly, or want to take them out to play.

Not enough? Let me know what you think…