Time for some housekeeping

Some of you have been around for a while and know what this project is all about.  Others are just joining us.  And even though there's a spot over there in the sidebar (-->) to encourage new people to check out what's going on, I want to take a day to be sure everyone is on the same page.

You know, not everyone has the patience to read through the whole blog.  And you can only imagine what it would be like to stumble in here without a clue.  Ha!  The thought makes me chuckle.

And it turns out - shockingly enough - that readership is growing every single day.  I'm surprised (and, quite frankly, flattered) that you've shared the blog with your friends.  And that they are now along for the ride.  I only hope I can live up to expectations.

I only hope the CL men I meet can live up to expectations!

So, it seems that a primer for the "newbies" and a reminder for our loyal readers is in order:

1. I'm a single, 33 year old woman living in a major metropolitan area of the United States.
2.  My past is rife with meeting odd characters - "freaks," if you will.  That's true whether I'm meeting them in social or work settings.  It's just my luck.  Some think I take after my dad in that.  Others think I'm just a magnet for the bizarre.  Me?  I think I am Flypaper for Freaks.
3. Just about one year ago, I was thrust into a moment of complete and utter lunacy when I had a brainstorm - wouldn't it be hilarious to use Craigslist personals ads to meet new people and attract more freaks?  And wouldn't that make a really funny book? 
4. I believe my brilliancy struck on the morning of Easter Sunday.  I shared the idea with my family.  And the only person who thought it was a good idea was my now-sister-in-law.  Others questioned my sanity.  My mom said, "won't it be dangerous?"  My brother said, "don't you have another book idea already in the works?  How much follow through do you think you'll really have?"  (Sidenote - yes, I do have another book idea bungling around in my head, but I can't do anything about it until I get a new career.  Funny enough, it has to do with meeting odd characters in non-social settings.)  My dad ignored the whole conversation.
5. I let the idea go for several weeks, but it kept nagging at me.  I talked to a couple friends about it.  They said a book was a bad idea, but a blog?  A blog could be PERFECT!  I worried that a blog might give me away.  What if the men found it?  What if they realized what I was doing?  What if?  What if?  What if?
6. I sat on the idea for a while longer.  But I know myself.  When I get an idea, I generally have to go for it.  Especially if that idea sticks around for days, weeks, months.  So, I plunged in. 
7. I was embarrassed about going out to look for "love" on CL, and I was afraid that I might chicken out.  But, again, I know myself.  I am nothing if not a MAJOR rule follower.  So how better to harness my anxiety and ensure I follow through?  Write some rules, of course!  
8. I wrote the rules, and I wrote my first ad.  And then I waited.  (Of course, any of you who have used CL personals know that "waiting" is a bit of a misnomer - those guys swoop in immediately.  We're talking right away!  I had barely confirmed the ad before I had a response.  At first I thought I'd just gotten lucky.  Now I realize that's totally normal.)
9. By my second ad, I understood that the rules needed some adjusting AND that I needed to actually be open to meeting someone who could have potential.  It couldn't just be a game.  And as soon as I was open to that possibility, I met someone.  And I gave up the blog for 7 months.
10. He dumped me.  And now I'm back at it.  I don't have high hopes for meeting another special someone, but I've learned my lesson.  I'm open to the possibility.  Either way, the most important part of this whole project (and make no mistake - that's what this is ... a project.  Or, if you prefer, an experiment.)  It's a way for me to meet new people, marvel at the wonder of dating, and hopefully, provide a bit of humor to the world.  I trust you'll tell me if I'm not doing my job.
11. I learned that sometimes it's fun to supplement stories about the experiment with stories from my past.  It offers proof that I've always attracted "interesting" people and it provides for some material in the lag-time between a new ad and meeting the guys.

Back in the Saddle Again!

Happy Saturday! Today's the day it's safe to tell all your friends we're back in business here at Flypaper for Freaks.

This past week my colleagues and I have been spending a lot of time together. And I do mean A LOT. As in nearly all day every day. And while the work we were doing required that we be diligent, it also allowed for plenty of time to talk. By Thursday, our newest colleague said,

Flypaper, tell us a funny story.

Well, you know me - I have a bunch of them. So can you believe I drew a blank? And had to ask for some guidance?


Why, Newest Colleague, whatever would you like that story to be about?

(I just pictured myself saying that with a southern accent while batting my eyelids, even though that's NOT AT ALL how it happened.)

I've got to say, Newest Colleague wasn't particularly helpful in offering a general topic, but my boss (yes, my boss) suggested that I tell her the story of the "naked guy." That would be Big Penis Boy, for those of you who've forgotten. And, well, it turns out that BPB was just the beginning. Boss-lady then suggested that I regale them all with the story of Dante. And then I was on a roll. In fact, my dear friendly readers,

I remembered stories that had been buried deep within my subconscious.
Stories I didn't even remember when I was starting this blog last summer.
Stories that serve only two purposes in life:

1) confirmation that I really, truly am Flypaper for Freaks, and
2) gut-busting hilarity to share with the world.

Apparently, that's all I needed to get myself back on track. I posted my third w4m Craigslist ad* last night. I still believe that I have to see one ad through to completion before I post on here, just in case one of the men has cyber-stalking skills equal to mine (which, by the way, aren't that great, but I would totally take part of any ad I was responding to and run it through google before hitting "send." I would hate for one of them to do that ... it would blow my cover!), but I can tell you that I've already received several responses. I can tell you're excited!

* No, you won't find my ad by clicking on this link. I don't live in Minneapolis. That whole not-blowing-my-cover thing, you know. But check out the ads! They're funny, I promise.

Let the Games Begin

Several years ago, my place in the world crystallized for me. I'd walked into a novelty/gift store with a friend and found a display of postcards from Co-Edikit. One of them called out to me:


I'm not kidding. It was like angels singing from on high. This was absolutely what was wrong with me! I was the embodiment of flypaper for freaks. I bought the postcard, placed it in the corner of my mirror, read it every day with a knowing smile on my face, and continued to experience the phenomenon that is being flypaper for freaks. No joke.

(Note that this particular postcard - the one that has followed me across the country and back, even as I've rid myself of belongings with each move - is no longer available. It appears a t-shirt and a magnetic notepad are the only items deemed worthy of sale any longer. And they don't even have the same character on them!)

In any case, this freak magnet thing I have going on works with all people, but it's really only the men I'm concerned about here. Yup. I attract some of the freakiest men on the planet. At least, I used to. And then I started finding ways to avoid attracting men altogether. On purpose. I was so tired of the freaks that none seemed better than the clear option. Well, it was that and the fact that I couldn't seem to make myself stop vacillating between two decidedly not freaky (but certainly not perfect) men. It slowed down but didn't stop; the freaks have always found me.

And, ssssshhh -- don't tell anyone, but I think I kind of like it. The stories I can tell about these men are AMAZING! Seriously. The thing is, it's slowed down enough that I'm getting a little bored. I recycled all the stories over and over. I need some new material.

Thus, the birth of the Grand Experiment. And I'm inviting you along for the ride. Come join me - I promise it'll be fun ... and all you have to do is sit back, relax, and enjoy. I get stuck doing all the work!

The Goal: Gain new material for my stash of freak stories
The Methodology: Post a personals ad on Craigslist, following a few simple rules
The Hypothesis: Freaks are out there, and they're ready to pounce ... I just need to offer "permission" again.

Wondering about the simple rules? I have 4:
1) Any ad I post must be honest, a true-to-myself description. In fact, it should be an ad that I would post if I was actually trying to meet a man I'd like to date, develop a relationship with, and eventually marry. That is, it should be a serious ad. No lies. No fibs. No truth-stretching.
2) I must respond to any man who answers my ad.
3) I must continue to respond. In the e-mail stage, I must be the last person to send an e-mail - I must leave no man hanging.
4) When (if?) they ask to meet, I must say yes. In a public place. Far away from my home. And telling someone where I am and who I believe I will be with at all times. Safety first, sure. But I must say yes. (This is sort of like the rule my parents gave us before we went to our first 8th grade dance - "you must say yes when a boy asks you to dance. No exceptions." Additionally, if it seems that the online communication is dragging on and on, I must make the "ask" myself.

Of course, I'm thinking you may need some proof that I have a long history of being flypaper for freaks. So, we'll warm up with a few of the "oldies but goodies." Come along, join the fun, invite your friends.