I posted my second ad today. (And, boy, has the response been overwhelming! I've been reading/writing e-mails for about two hours ... I tell ya - this project is time consuming. It's no joke!) You'll get all the juicy goodness of the second ad when I'm done telling you all about the goodness of the first. Yes, there's MORE from the first -- be patient, my friends, be patient. Oh, and don't forget that the second ad has to expire before I can share it with you.
Anyway, I need your opinion, and I need it kind of quickly...
One of the responses to my second ad says he wants "a nice woman." I asked what that means to him. He said, "she should be honest." He also implied that if I'm not honest, I ought not continue to respond.
I'd like to oblige him.
So here's the question - is it dishonest for me to respond without telling him about my project? If so, I simply won't respond. If not, really? Is this honest?
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Saturday, July 4, 2009
When it rains, it pours
It's funny, isn't it? How aphorisms can so aptly describe a situation, I mean.
I wrote an ad, posted it on CL, and waited for responses. Several came. Only one really obvious creep in the bunch. The others wrote e-mails with varying degrees of intrigue (and grammatical skills - I'm such a stickler for that).* I wrote back to each and every one of them. Most responded to my response. And so the cycle went.
Then, one day it all just dried up. Gone. I knew there would be no new responses, as the ad had expired. But all the guys who'd been e-mailing me? They all just stopped. Every single one of them.
That's weird.
It made me wonder if I'd said something.
I started to feel a little bad about myself.
I mean, one guy deciding it's not worth continuing conversation with - that's one thing. All of them? All on the same day? I knew I was my father's daughter when
I started to think there was a conspiracy against me.
I know what you're thinking - where's the rain? Where's the pouring? This sounds more like a drought.
Except that yesterday, FOUR of them sent me messages, all with the same theme:
I'm sorry it's been a while. Life has gotten busy and time got away from me. I still really want to chat with you. I hope you're not mad at me.
Mad? No, I'm not mad.
I was feeling a little bit like the well had dried up and it was time to post a new ad. And I was wondering what I'd said or done to make EVERYONE bounce at the same time. And I had needed to remind myself that this is an experiment, and the experiment is NOT intended to wreak havoc on my self-esteem. Or even touch it slightly. But mad? Seriously?!?
The fact that all FOUR of them hoped I wouldn't be mad caused me to wonder...
WHO are these men?
No - WHO are the women they've meeting on Craigslist previously?
Do these women really get mad when someone THEY HAVE NEVER MET disappears? For a few days? Is that happening? Is that "normal"?
If that's normal, then I am definitely not it.
Oh - and for the record, there are still a couple out there who did seemingly drop off the face of the earth. I'm guessing they realized I'm not a good match for them. And,
I am okay with that.
* I admit that I'm a little afraid all of my grammar/spelling judgments are going to come back to haunt me one day. I'm going to make some error on this blog, and someone is going to judge extra harshly for it. Let this be my pre-error caveat: I'm not perfect; I know I'm not perfect; I don't expect you to be perfect; but if you're going to make errors in spelling/grammar and you're trying to impress me, know that you'll succeed only if you make them few and far between.
I wrote an ad, posted it on CL, and waited for responses. Several came. Only one really obvious creep in the bunch. The others wrote e-mails with varying degrees of intrigue (and grammatical skills - I'm such a stickler for that).* I wrote back to each and every one of them. Most responded to my response. And so the cycle went.
Then, one day it all just dried up. Gone. I knew there would be no new responses, as the ad had expired. But all the guys who'd been e-mailing me? They all just stopped. Every single one of them.
That's weird.
It made me wonder if I'd said something.
I started to feel a little bad about myself.
I mean, one guy deciding it's not worth continuing conversation with - that's one thing. All of them? All on the same day? I knew I was my father's daughter when
I started to think there was a conspiracy against me.
I know what you're thinking - where's the rain? Where's the pouring? This sounds more like a drought.
Except that yesterday, FOUR of them sent me messages, all with the same theme:
I'm sorry it's been a while. Life has gotten busy and time got away from me. I still really want to chat with you. I hope you're not mad at me.
Mad? No, I'm not mad.
I was feeling a little bit like the well had dried up and it was time to post a new ad. And I was wondering what I'd said or done to make EVERYONE bounce at the same time. And I had needed to remind myself that this is an experiment, and the experiment is NOT intended to wreak havoc on my self-esteem. Or even touch it slightly. But mad? Seriously?!?
The fact that all FOUR of them hoped I wouldn't be mad caused me to wonder...
WHO are these men?
No - WHO are the women they've meeting on Craigslist previously?
Do these women really get mad when someone THEY HAVE NEVER MET disappears? For a few days? Is that happening? Is that "normal"?
If that's normal, then I am definitely not it.
Oh - and for the record, there are still a couple out there who did seemingly drop off the face of the earth. I'm guessing they realized I'm not a good match for them. And,
I am okay with that.
* I admit that I'm a little afraid all of my grammar/spelling judgments are going to come back to haunt me one day. I'm going to make some error on this blog, and someone is going to judge extra harshly for it. Let this be my pre-error caveat: I'm not perfect; I know I'm not perfect; I don't expect you to be perfect; but if you're going to make errors in spelling/grammar and you're trying to impress me, know that you'll succeed only if you make them few and far between.
The Rules, revisited
Remember the rules? Remember rule #4? Here it is - just in case you've forgotten:
4) When (if?) they ask to meet, I must say yes. In a public place. Far away from my home. And telling someone where I am and who I believe I will be with at all times. Safety first, sure. But I must say yes.
Well, I reserve the right to change my mind. I reserve the right to really invoke the "safety first" mantra. And I don't really care what you think about it. I will not meet someone who makes my skin crawl through e-mail.
Why, you ask? Who is the man prompting this relatively early modification to the rules? They all get nicknames, so let's call this one Creepmeister. How 'bout that? I'll give all the gory goodness - but be warned ... it'll make this post long.
His first response to my ad (in full):
Hello,I like your profile and everything you said on your profile is interesting. I'm all new to this online dating thing,anyway My Name is Creepmeister, 5.6ft man, single with no kids.its quite difficult to write about oneself when u know that others will be judging u on what u write,im just going to be simple and fly straight, im an optimistic person who has a variety of interests. I'm a down to earth guy who consider himself confident, intelligent, honest, romantic, spontaneous, caring with a big heart,easy to get along with,positive personality,passionate,good Christian with a good sense of humour.i love working,watching movies.music im open minded and fun loving,little things in life count. im drug,smoke and disease free,im not into games,as they hurt,absolutely not a time waster.I await your reply.i will be expecting your mail. this is my email address and just in case you would love to get to know more about me,you could write back to me.
Whew. What's up with the no spaces between sentences or commas? And the terrible grammar? And the off-and-on capitalization? I admit that I'm guilty of not always using proper capitalization when I'm writing e-mails to friends, but I ALWAYS use it when I'm writing to a stranger. And MOST DEFINITELY when I'm trying to impress someone. And looky there - he pointed out how difficult it is to put oneself out there for fear of being judged.
So, I didn't judge. Nope. Even though I can be quite judgmental. I didn't judge Creepmeister. I wrote him back, just like the rules told me to:
Hi Creepmeister,
Thanks for responding to my ad! I know exactly what you mean about the difficulty of writing who you are - I found writing the ad especially tough (it's the first I've ever done, and I had to spend some time thinking about it before getting it all out on "paper." I had to keep reminding myself that people judge all the time, so this isn't really all that different.) Of course there's no way you can write everything or give a complete picture, but it's a start. I'm glad you found what I wrote intriguing; I can honestly say that everything in it is accurate - if only the tip of my iceberg.
I'm also new to online dating, and beyond writing the ad, I'm not exactly sure where to go - next steps, and all that. So maybe it's right to simply respond to what you've said - certainly you've given a pretty positive picture, and one of someone I'd be interested in getting to know better.
I appreciate that you're positive ... it's something I keep trying to do a better job of myself. By nature, I'm a cynic/skeptic, and that sometimes leads me to be more of a constructive critic than a pollyanna. I'm pretty sure there's a happy medium in there somewhere, and that's what I've striving towards. I'm not always great at it, but like all things... it's a work in progress!
I am a huge fan of intelligence; I find both that and confidence attractive. Love a good laugh - sounds like you might be able to provide one (or two). Movies and music ... last movie rented - Flash of Genius; last concert attended - Jill Sobule. How about you? What's next? What would you like to know? Looking forward to hearing from you again, Fly Paper
See how well I did? Inside I was judging him, but I had laid out the rules to encourage myself to be more open-minded about who I might meet. (Well, let's be honest - I created the rules so that I'd go out with everyone who expressed an interest so that I could get some good stories out of the deal.) But see how well I did? I responded so nicely. I should have gone with my first instincts. The whole "good Christian" thing was actually a red flag for me. It's not that I have anything against good Christians (or bad ones, for that matter). As a general rule, I'm not particularly religious myself but truly don't care if you are. I actually find religion pretty fascinating. I attended Catholic schools for most of K-12, and I can hang with the religious crowd. But, my experience tells me that when people lead off with religion when introducing themselves, it's a big part of their identity. And that's okay, but it's probably not going to make them a very good match for me.
And, I contend, I really should have gone with my first instincts.
Because, Creepmeister responded.
Hello Fly Paper, I am a Honest,Faithful and Down to earth Man.I say whatever i have on my mind and keep nothing as secret from Who i meet(my partner),i believe no one knows were the true love lies and in whose heart you can fine the best.I will love to give another chance which i will not like to get hurt in the process.I have been hurt in my past relationship and it still a pain in my heart,i have a son 18 years old but living with his mom while i live alone,i have been a single for 6 year and half now.i don't have either of my parents anymore I lost my mom 18 years ago through breast cancer and my dad in 2002 in a car accident along with my brother (David).I was left to live alone and learn how to depend on my self and cater for my daily needs after i was rejected and called a witch afterward cos i was the only one laft after the death of other family members this make me live Usa for England,I was born in Usa and live there till i was 37 years old,My Hobbies are Drawing,Sailing,Fishing,Hunting and Reading.I will want you to take your profile away from the site if you are interested in me i am a one Woman man and will not like to share my Woman time and thinking with another man.I will not like to change you from the way you live your life. I hope to read from you again as soon as possible.I am now residing in England but was in the states for studies which i stooped learning from 3 weeks ago..I still wish to relocate if all work better between us,My main target in a relationship is living a happy life which will benefit our long lasting relationship..Hope to hear from you again..Ask me what ever you wish to know that i have not told you in this email i will reply with Honesty ... Yours In Love, Creepmeister,
Wait a minute, Creepmeister! You're an honest man, you say? You got an 18 year old son pretty quickly! I think you wrote me the first message in which you had NO KIDS the day before you told me that your son lives with his mother. Huh. That was some quick gestation and growth he had.
And, really, can I be honest with you? Your spelling, grammar, and just general writing abililties are making it REALLY hard for me to understand what you're trying to tell me. I told you I understood the difficulty of writing who you are, but that was kind of a lie. I mean, I understand that it's hard to put yourself out there to a complete stranger, but that's it. I don't generally find it difficult to get my point across in writing. And, can I be really honest with you? The right partner for me is someone who can do the same.
Can I be even more honest with you? You're making me feel a little squirmy. Like creepy-crawlies have gotten underneath my skin. I think you're lying to me. I don't think you are who you say you are. And I think you are awfully presumptuous to tell me I should take my ad down. I don't know you! Also, I hate your farewell - please don't ever sign off "in love" again. It's really, really creepy. Because, do you remember that YOU DON'T KNOW ME??? Plus, those pictures you sent me - I don't think they are you. I mean, look at them ...
Good. Now go look in the mirror. Not the same guy, right? Yeah... I didn't think so. Also, for future reference, the pictures you sent DO NOTHING FOR ME. Next time, maybe you should choose a less creepy guy as your model. Oh, and maybe next time you should choose just a couple of pictures; no need to send FIVE.
Alright readers - you got me. I didn't write any of that to Creepmeister. I wanted to, but I was chicken. Contrary to popular opinion, I'm not really all that brave. So instead, I took refuge in that part of his message that said he's now living in England. Whew! The rules don't say anything about long distance wannabe-paramours, so I figured I could make that rule up right there on the spot. Living in England? Nope - don't have to meet him. I still wanted to be nice, though:
Hi Creepmeister,
Thank you for your heartfelt and honest response. I am sorry to hear that you have experienced such loss in the past; it sounds as though you are healing well from the pain.
If I read your message correctly, you are not currently living in the United States. While I appreciate that you have found something about me intriguing, I am unfortunately not interested in beginning (or being in) a long-distance relationship at this time. I have done that before and am not interested in doing so now.
I wish you the best of luck in your search for love, though!
Yes, I know that it wasn't an honest response. I was just trying to be nice. I have that problem. Sometimes I work too hard to be nice to people who do not deserve it.
I thought that would be the end of it. I mean, I told him I wasn't interested. Right? Ha! If you think that, then you're as naive as I was ...
Wait a minute! What? Ugh. My skin is crawling even as I re-read this. I responded one last time and told him in no uncertain terms (no more niceness) that I didn't really care what he thought. I did not want to get to know him. Ever.
I haven't heard from him since.
And then I modified rule #4. If a man makes me feel that way in his e-mails, then I do not have to respond to him. I do not have to meet him. Even if he doesn't live in England. And I do not have to feel bad about it. And it's okay if it means I have lost a good story. Safety first should mean just that. So rule #4 is more of a suggestion. It just is.
4) When (if?) they ask to meet, I must say yes. In a public place. Far away from my home. And telling someone where I am and who I believe I will be with at all times. Safety first, sure. But I must say yes.
Well, I reserve the right to change my mind. I reserve the right to really invoke the "safety first" mantra. And I don't really care what you think about it. I will not meet someone who makes my skin crawl through e-mail.
Why, you ask? Who is the man prompting this relatively early modification to the rules? They all get nicknames, so let's call this one Creepmeister. How 'bout that? I'll give all the gory goodness - but be warned ... it'll make this post long.
His first response to my ad (in full):
Hello,I like your profile and everything you said on your profile is interesting. I'm all new to this online dating thing,anyway My Name is Creepmeister, 5.6ft man, single with no kids.its quite difficult to write about oneself when u know that others will be judging u on what u write,im just going to be simple and fly straight, im an optimistic person who has a variety of interests. I'm a down to earth guy who consider himself confident, intelligent, honest, romantic, spontaneous, caring with a big heart,easy to get along with,positive personality,passionate,good Christian with a good sense of humour.i love working,watching movies.music im open minded and fun loving,little things in life count. im drug,smoke and disease free,im not into games,as they hurt,absolutely not a time waster.I await your reply.i will be expecting your mail. this is my email address and just in case you would love to get to know more about me,you could write back to me.
Whew. What's up with the no spaces between sentences or commas? And the terrible grammar? And the off-and-on capitalization? I admit that I'm guilty of not always using proper capitalization when I'm writing e-mails to friends, but I ALWAYS use it when I'm writing to a stranger. And MOST DEFINITELY when I'm trying to impress someone. And looky there - he pointed out how difficult it is to put oneself out there for fear of being judged.
So, I didn't judge. Nope. Even though I can be quite judgmental. I didn't judge Creepmeister. I wrote him back, just like the rules told me to:
Hi Creepmeister,
Thanks for responding to my ad! I know exactly what you mean about the difficulty of writing who you are - I found writing the ad especially tough (it's the first I've ever done, and I had to spend some time thinking about it before getting it all out on "paper." I had to keep reminding myself that people judge all the time, so this isn't really all that different.) Of course there's no way you can write everything or give a complete picture, but it's a start. I'm glad you found what I wrote intriguing; I can honestly say that everything in it is accurate - if only the tip of my iceberg.
I'm also new to online dating, and beyond writing the ad, I'm not exactly sure where to go - next steps, and all that. So maybe it's right to simply respond to what you've said - certainly you've given a pretty positive picture, and one of someone I'd be interested in getting to know better.
I appreciate that you're positive ... it's something I keep trying to do a better job of myself. By nature, I'm a cynic/skeptic, and that sometimes leads me to be more of a constructive critic than a pollyanna. I'm pretty sure there's a happy medium in there somewhere, and that's what I've striving towards. I'm not always great at it, but like all things... it's a work in progress!
I am a huge fan of intelligence; I find both that and confidence attractive. Love a good laugh - sounds like you might be able to provide one (or two). Movies and music ... last movie rented - Flash of Genius; last concert attended - Jill Sobule. How about you? What's next? What would you like to know? Looking forward to hearing from you again, Fly Paper
See how well I did? Inside I was judging him, but I had laid out the rules to encourage myself to be more open-minded about who I might meet. (Well, let's be honest - I created the rules so that I'd go out with everyone who expressed an interest so that I could get some good stories out of the deal.) But see how well I did? I responded so nicely. I should have gone with my first instincts. The whole "good Christian" thing was actually a red flag for me. It's not that I have anything against good Christians (or bad ones, for that matter). As a general rule, I'm not particularly religious myself but truly don't care if you are. I actually find religion pretty fascinating. I attended Catholic schools for most of K-12, and I can hang with the religious crowd. But, my experience tells me that when people lead off with religion when introducing themselves, it's a big part of their identity. And that's okay, but it's probably not going to make them a very good match for me.
And, I contend, I really should have gone with my first instincts.
Because, Creepmeister responded.
Hello Fly Paper, I am a Honest,Faithful and Down to earth Man.I say whatever i have on my mind and keep nothing as secret from Who i meet(my partner),i believe no one knows were the true love lies and in whose heart you can fine the best.I will love to give another chance which i will not like to get hurt in the process.I have been hurt in my past relationship and it still a pain in my heart,i have a son 18 years old but living with his mom while i live alone,i have been a single for 6 year and half now.i don't have either of my parents anymore I lost my mom 18 years ago through breast cancer and my dad in 2002 in a car accident along with my brother (David).I was left to live alone and learn how to depend on my self and cater for my daily needs after i was rejected and called a witch afterward cos i was the only one laft after the death of other family members this make me live Usa for England,I was born in Usa and live there till i was 37 years old,My Hobbies are Drawing,Sailing,Fishing,Hunting and Reading.I will want you to take your profile away from the site if you are interested in me i am a one Woman man and will not like to share my Woman time and thinking with another man.I will not like to change you from the way you live your life. I hope to read from you again as soon as possible.I am now residing in England but was in the states for studies which i stooped learning from 3 weeks ago..I still wish to relocate if all work better between us,My main target in a relationship is living a happy life which will benefit our long lasting relationship..Hope to hear from you again..Ask me what ever you wish to know that i have not told you in this email i will reply with Honesty ... Yours In Love, Creepmeister,
Wait a minute, Creepmeister! You're an honest man, you say? You got an 18 year old son pretty quickly! I think you wrote me the first message in which you had NO KIDS the day before you told me that your son lives with his mother. Huh. That was some quick gestation and growth he had.
And, really, can I be honest with you? Your spelling, grammar, and just general writing abililties are making it REALLY hard for me to understand what you're trying to tell me. I told you I understood the difficulty of writing who you are, but that was kind of a lie. I mean, I understand that it's hard to put yourself out there to a complete stranger, but that's it. I don't generally find it difficult to get my point across in writing. And, can I be really honest with you? The right partner for me is someone who can do the same.
Can I be even more honest with you? You're making me feel a little squirmy. Like creepy-crawlies have gotten underneath my skin. I think you're lying to me. I don't think you are who you say you are. And I think you are awfully presumptuous to tell me I should take my ad down. I don't know you! Also, I hate your farewell - please don't ever sign off "in love" again. It's really, really creepy. Because, do you remember that YOU DON'T KNOW ME??? Plus, those pictures you sent me - I don't think they are you. I mean, look at them ...
Good. Now go look in the mirror. Not the same guy, right? Yeah... I didn't think so. Also, for future reference, the pictures you sent DO NOTHING FOR ME. Next time, maybe you should choose a less creepy guy as your model. Oh, and maybe next time you should choose just a couple of pictures; no need to send FIVE.Alright readers - you got me. I didn't write any of that to Creepmeister. I wanted to, but I was chicken. Contrary to popular opinion, I'm not really all that brave. So instead, I took refuge in that part of his message that said he's now living in England. Whew! The rules don't say anything about long distance wannabe-paramours, so I figured I could make that rule up right there on the spot. Living in England? Nope - don't have to meet him. I still wanted to be nice, though:
Hi Creepmeister,
Thank you for your heartfelt and honest response. I am sorry to hear that you have experienced such loss in the past; it sounds as though you are healing well from the pain.
If I read your message correctly, you are not currently living in the United States. While I appreciate that you have found something about me intriguing, I am unfortunately not interested in beginning (or being in) a long-distance relationship at this time. I have done that before and am not interested in doing so now.
I wish you the best of luck in your search for love, though!
Yes, I know that it wasn't an honest response. I was just trying to be nice. I have that problem. Sometimes I work too hard to be nice to people who do not deserve it.
I thought that would be the end of it. I mean, I told him I wasn't interested. Right? Ha! If you think that, then you're as naive as I was ...
Hello,
How are you doing?well i so much appreciate your reply but to me distance does not matter in a relationship and am promising you that if all works out fine us i will relocate to you but we need to get to knwo eachother well first please give me ou.your phone no so i can call you.
Creepmeister.
Creepmeister.
Wait a minute! What? Ugh. My skin is crawling even as I re-read this. I responded one last time and told him in no uncertain terms (no more niceness) that I didn't really care what he thought. I did not want to get to know him. Ever.
I haven't heard from him since.
And then I modified rule #4. If a man makes me feel that way in his e-mails, then I do not have to respond to him. I do not have to meet him. Even if he doesn't live in England. And I do not have to feel bad about it. And it's okay if it means I have lost a good story. Safety first should mean just that. So rule #4 is more of a suggestion. It just is.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Lessons Learned, part 1
There are SO MANY things I've learned about my ad:
1) I wrote more than most people (most ads are, on average, about 2 sentences long)
2) I gave way too much credit to men, thinking they might be able to read between the lines. Or, alternately, I didn't give them enough credit and they are reading between lines I didn't even know were there.
And my favorite,
3) I wrote phantom words.
It's true! I offer the following excerpt from a response as proof:
"Oh yeah, I am 6'4' tall. I love the fact that you are tall. You won't have to worry about wearing heals around me. ;)"
Huh. I'm pretty sure I didn't say anything about being tall. Hold on - let me check just to be sure. Yep. I didn't say anything about being tall. Know how I knew that before I checked? Because I am not tall. Not even close. I can't even pretend. At 5'1", I am practically the shortest person I know. And I am most certainly the shortest adult I know.
So, he really read something he wanted to see in there. Or I wrote some phantom lies. Those pesky rules are going to come back to haunt me, aren't they? Is it fair to hold myself accountable to the rules if I don't even know that I'm breaking them?
**For now, I'm ignoring the fact that the guy doesn't know how to spell "heels." The rest of his response was mostly grammatically correct, and his spelling was pretty good - certainly better than most. (Just you wait - there are some doozies out there!)
1) I wrote more than most people (most ads are, on average, about 2 sentences long)
2) I gave way too much credit to men, thinking they might be able to read between the lines. Or, alternately, I didn't give them enough credit and they are reading between lines I didn't even know were there.
And my favorite,
3) I wrote phantom words.
It's true! I offer the following excerpt from a response as proof:
"Oh yeah, I am 6'4' tall. I love the fact that you are tall. You won't have to worry about wearing heals around me. ;)"
Huh. I'm pretty sure I didn't say anything about being tall. Hold on - let me check just to be sure. Yep. I didn't say anything about being tall. Know how I knew that before I checked? Because I am not tall. Not even close. I can't even pretend. At 5'1", I am practically the shortest person I know. And I am most certainly the shortest adult I know.
So, he really read something he wanted to see in there. Or I wrote some phantom lies. Those pesky rules are going to come back to haunt me, aren't they? Is it fair to hold myself accountable to the rules if I don't even know that I'm breaking them?
**For now, I'm ignoring the fact that the guy doesn't know how to spell "heels." The rest of his response was mostly grammatically correct, and his spelling was pretty good - certainly better than most. (Just you wait - there are some doozies out there!)
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Ad Number One
I did it. I posted an ad on Craigslist. I followed rule #1, and I put myself out there. (Actually, to be fair, I did it a little more than a week ago - I had to wait until the ad expired before I could post it here because I'd hate for someone to take a piece of the ad, google it, and discover what I'm really doing. You know? Yeah, I get that thinking someone might do that makes me paranoid. But the thing is, I would do that. So I'm sure there's someone else out there who would. Right?) And boy-oh-boy have I learned what not to do in the future. I can, and probably will, write several posts about what not to say in a personals ad. And I've learned that my ad isn't really like anyone else's. Sigh.
I'm never like anyone else.
So, without further ado, the text of my first-ever Craigslist personals ad:
Okay - I'm a little picky, but so are you, right?
I’m not afraid to think things like an adult spelling bee or trivia night are cool; you aren’t either.
I try to get to the gym at least three days a week, but I’m still a work in progress. I don’t expect I’ll ever be perfect, and I’m okay with that.
When I tire of the gym, I’ll head out for a hike. I’m not a hardcore outdoorswoman, though, so a few miles are generally enough for me. I’ve been thinking of buying a bike to spice up the non-gym activities, but a few things hold me back – maybe you can help?
1) While I’ll walk alone, I’m not so keen on biking alone … just doesn’t seem all that fun without a friend.
2) It’s been awhile since I’ve been on a bike, and I’m a teensy bit scared. It wasn’t just funny when my 6 year old niece told me, “When I think of the word ‘clumsy,’ I see a picture of you in my mind”; it was also a solid commentary on my not-always-graceful nature.
3) I really don’t know anything about bikes or buying one, and while I could shop around and ask questions, it’s possible you know all the right ones to ask.
I’m a native of this fair city, but I know I’ve experienced only a fraction of its gems. You want to explore the remainder with me.
I’m interested in other peoples’ lives, and I appreciate when they’re interested in hearing about mine. I met someone for a mutual lesson the other day, spent two and a half hours together, and never once was I asked a question. I want to hear you talk, and you want the same from me. Besides the simple fact that I can be pretty interesting, a reciprocal conversation is far more enjoyable than thinking the other person invited you along just so it didn’t appear they were talking to themselves.
I’ve been on vacation for a week, didn’t leave town (I’m planning to leave when I have another week in July), and my house still isn’t clean. I’m just not a neat freak, and as long as you’re not a packrat, we should be able to make it work.
I’ll want to hang out with you, but I also like time alone. You’ll hear a sigh of relief when you tell me you’d rather go out with friends than spending every waking moment together.
I’m something of a cynic and can be judgmental at times. I’m working on both.
I don’t smoke or do drugs; neither do you. One beer, glass of wine, or cocktail can get me tipsy; two can just about do me in. I’m not a huge fan of animals of any type, and I’m fairly certain I’m developing an allergy to cats; I won’t shun you because you have them, but I probably won’t touch them, find them cute or cuddly, or want to take them out to play.
Not enough? Let me know what you think…
I'm never like anyone else.
So, without further ado, the text of my first-ever Craigslist personals ad:
Okay - I'm a little picky, but so are you, right?
I’m not afraid to think things like an adult spelling bee or trivia night are cool; you aren’t either.
I try to get to the gym at least three days a week, but I’m still a work in progress. I don’t expect I’ll ever be perfect, and I’m okay with that.
When I tire of the gym, I’ll head out for a hike. I’m not a hardcore outdoorswoman, though, so a few miles are generally enough for me. I’ve been thinking of buying a bike to spice up the non-gym activities, but a few things hold me back – maybe you can help?
1) While I’ll walk alone, I’m not so keen on biking alone … just doesn’t seem all that fun without a friend.
2) It’s been awhile since I’ve been on a bike, and I’m a teensy bit scared. It wasn’t just funny when my 6 year old niece told me, “When I think of the word ‘clumsy,’ I see a picture of you in my mind”; it was also a solid commentary on my not-always-graceful nature.
3) I really don’t know anything about bikes or buying one, and while I could shop around and ask questions, it’s possible you know all the right ones to ask.
I’m a native of this fair city, but I know I’ve experienced only a fraction of its gems. You want to explore the remainder with me.
I’m interested in other peoples’ lives, and I appreciate when they’re interested in hearing about mine. I met someone for a mutual lesson the other day, spent two and a half hours together, and never once was I asked a question. I want to hear you talk, and you want the same from me. Besides the simple fact that I can be pretty interesting, a reciprocal conversation is far more enjoyable than thinking the other person invited you along just so it didn’t appear they were talking to themselves.
I’ve been on vacation for a week, didn’t leave town (I’m planning to leave when I have another week in July), and my house still isn’t clean. I’m just not a neat freak, and as long as you’re not a packrat, we should be able to make it work.
I’ll want to hang out with you, but I also like time alone. You’ll hear a sigh of relief when you tell me you’d rather go out with friends than spending every waking moment together.
I’m something of a cynic and can be judgmental at times. I’m working on both.
I don’t smoke or do drugs; neither do you. One beer, glass of wine, or cocktail can get me tipsy; two can just about do me in. I’m not a huge fan of animals of any type, and I’m fairly certain I’m developing an allergy to cats; I won’t shun you because you have them, but I probably won’t touch them, find them cute or cuddly, or want to take them out to play.
Not enough? Let me know what you think…
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